There must be something in the water, or should I say something stirring my waters... But like the wonderful Kelley over at MagnetoBoldToo I have had this horrible feeling of dread for weeks now.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop...
My child is a complex blend of brilliance, blinding beauty and batshit craziness. My child dazzles in his happy moments, and despairs in his darkest depths. My child, who puzzles all of us... even his psych, with his inability to understand the social web of life, whilst being so far advanced of his years in articulation, emotional perception and intellect.
His teachers, whilst wonderful, just don't get what his short life has been like with a brother on the spectrum.
One of them did the unthinkable today, the cardinal comment sin. We talked of the incident last term, when he once again lost the plot. We discussed the "why" theories... the catalyst of this climactic conflict of character that is my youngest son. And then whilst I brought up and spoke of the content of the post I wrote for Autism Awareness Day (though I cheated and called it an article, lol), of how he had been shunted aside in the early years... she brought up the dreaded comparison of "Oh, we all do that, I did with my kids due to the age difference..."
I did not scream. I did not curse. She meant no harm.
But seriously? Don't ever fucking tell me it is the same thing. Don't ever, ever dare to compare the white bread niceties of your life with the charred black toast of ours.
Or as my youngest son would say... Indubitably.
Still waiting for the thud of my left foot shroud to tell me it has hit.
Day 2185 - Today we breathe - *Sometimes faith and hope trumps thought.* I am not a naturally positive person. I'm one of those people who thinks too much about all the possibilities....
20 hours ago